Well my daughter went to another school dance--Winter Waltz--and I didn't even blog about it. I didn't even capture photographic evidence of it, that's how neglectful I've become.
I did, however, Like her dance photos on Facebook, which threw her into a complete tizzy.
She immediately called me from work. "WHY did you Like my FACEBOOK PHOTOS?!?" she cried!
"Uh . . . because I liked them," I said.
Apparently I had committed the most humiliating crime of the century.
"You can Like my photos on the inside, but not on the outside!" She declared, before instructing me fiercely to Unlike her photos. ASAP!
"I just want you to be liked, is that so wrong?" I cried into the receiver. But all I heard was dial tone.
And anyway, what's not to like?
. . . slightly deranged.
But who isn't? That's what I always say. Live and let live.
And fer reals, my daughter looks like a supermodel, even in mid air. How can I Unlike that?
(I can kinda see why my daughter threw a pie in this kid's face, can't you?)
(Fortunately that made him Unlike her enough to ask her to the dance. You have to know how to be Unliked if you want to get asked to dances? It's the way we Utards roll.)
Speaking of which, I never showed you the photographic evidence from her Preference.
This guy also Unliked like my daughter after she beat him at tennis. (See how quickly she catches on!)
Not sure if can tell, but this dress was so gorgeous it bruised her sternum.
She couldn't lift her arms higher than this. And that face . . . Let's just say she couldn't wipe that expression off her face either--not until I cut her out of this dress at midnight so she could turn back into a pumpkin.
Good thing her date wasn't funny or she may have cracked a rib.
But I digress. I actually came here to say that my daughter has a point--some things are better Liked inside, than outside. Public disclosures and displays of pride should be kept to a minimum.
I would now like to publicly Unlike everything I privately Like about my daughter--the fact that she got accepted to both BYU and BYU-H, for instance. And the fact that she's a floral designer extraordinaire, who has already worked and saved $3,000 of her own money for college. And the fact that she's a straight-A student and a medical assistant in training, who passed three AP exams with her eyes closed and her hands tied behind her back.
The only thing I don't like about my daughter is that she doesn't have a tattoo.
And that she's planning on moving out to go to college and become an independent woman.
I might pretend to Like these things about her publicly, but don't believe everything you see on Facebook.