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Monday, April 6, 2009

Why I should move to Ideeho!

I'm working diligently on my favorite student post, really I am, but while you're waiting . . . can you keep a secret?


I'm thinking about moving to Ideeho?


I wasn't thinking about it when the weekend started. Probably because it started off just like every other weekend that I'm not thinking about moving to Ideeho.

Oh, except my husband was off-island.


And my twins started wearing profuse amounts of Gillette double protection deodorant, AXE body spray and Aspen cologne.


Other than all that it was a typical ho-hum weekend. Nothing strange or unusual.


Oh, except one of my sons woke up and declared, "I want a rooster!"


(There are no roosters in Ideeho are there?)


And one of my students declared "I want to be an English teacher!"


He then proceeded to explain why it would be the most exciting, fulfilling job in the world! "The ideas you get to contemplate! The people you get to know! The impact you get to make!"


His enthusiasm almost made me want to be an English teacher.


I didn't even start thinking about moving to Ideeho when I saw this. . .



Remember this kane spider that fell from my shower curtain into my tub 2 weeks ago?


Well I found his twin brother skulking across my ceiling yesterday. It took me thirty minutes of electric skin crawling, shoe banging, heart squealing agony to put him out of my misery. In the end I had to squirt him to death with triple action Resolve stain remover while I did the Irish River Dance around him. (At least my carpet is clean now (in spots)).


(They don't have kane spiders in Ideeho do they?)


So here's the scoop:


Last night I had a dream that I moved to Ideeho.


And I was bedazzled by it's beauty.



Have you ever noticed the vivid colors and geometrical configurations in the Ideeho sky in my dreams at twilight?


I'm telling you it's bedazzling.

In my dream I was jogging down the street through the snow and ice. I had smooth brown legs, bare feet and a broken ankle. I guess living in a state of perpetual bliss all these years has toughened me up because it didn't even hurt and I wasn't even cold. What's the big deal about snow and ice and broken bones anyway?

I could see my reflection in the store window fronts as I jogged along, but it wasn't me, rather it was the girl I've always wanted to be--no pretension--genuinely grinning, pleasant and unselfconsious--my soul was open to the world. And my smooth brown legs weren't bad either.

I must have been a regular Forrest Gump because other people began jogging with me--mostly surfer dudes with bleached out, disheveled hair.

I was leading them to BYU Ideeho, but I got lost and we ended up at an enormous roller coaster instead. Just as I was about to go for a ride, I woke up!

I've read dream interp books and I think I should move to Ideeho, buy myself a bedazzler and build an amusement park next to BYU-I.

Or maybe I should start an extermination/carpet cleaning business.

(Truth be told, I'd settle for the smooth brown legs.)

29 comments:

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Ideeho is beeutiful. My Ma and Pa live there and I basically lived there in the summer growing up. Other than the Famous Potatoes thing, it's an awesome place.

I bet you'd start a trend if you moved to Idaho. Yep, everyone would follow Crash. Just like they followed Forrest.

Then I'd have to contemplate moving there. Hmm...

I am LoW said...

I've always LOVED the vivid colors and geometrical configurations in the Ideeho sky, at Twilight by Stephenie Meyers, in your dreams. Always.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

By the way - Stop with the spider pictures! You're FREAKIN' ME OUT!!

Agggh, it's on me!!!

♥georgie♥ said...

I am LOL that you squirted that kane spider with resolve carpet cleaner...OMGosh that was funny but the pic gave me the heebee jeebees

word veri of the day 'oggrot'

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Haha- girl, you are so random :) well your dreams are.

If I see that spider one more time I might have to go have another shower. I get so creeped out when I see it. I just feel like it is crawling on me for hours after :)

The Wixom Zoo said...

Ooh! come come COME!!! We have small-ish lake beaches. You can even walk across the lakes when they freeze over in the winter. It's uber fun, fun, fun!

Kristina P. said...

I would totally move from Hawaii to Idaho. They have potatoes!! What does Hawaii have to offer?!?!?

T said...

that creepy freakin' spider would have me moving ANYWHERE but into the shower... as a matter of fact, I hope that the people at my PTA meeting this morning don't plan on getting too close because I now cannot stand the idea of showering. (good thing I did last night...)

WV says preping... is that as in getting ready for my meeting - or that which comes before the "Ping" - like 1/2 popped micro-popcorn?

SO said...

It's cheaper to live in Ideeho. And I'm sure they could use a good amusement park there.

Amanda said...

oh, I'd settle for the smooth brown legs over just about snything :)

Martha said...

You can't move to Idaho, you just can't. We would be heartbroken and sad and miserable without you. Don't do it.

Kritta22 said...

LOL

I'd love it if you moved to Idaho!

But what about Swirl?

Kritta22 said...

Are kane spiders bad???

There aren't ANY spiders, at all, in Alaska.

Or snakes.

I'm just saying.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Wait Kritta! No spiders in Alaska? AT all? I am totally changing my plans then. I'm going to move to Alaska where I will build an amusement park next to BYU-Alaska.

We don't have snakes in Hawaii either, but those kane spiders are F.R.E.A.K.Y! In case you didn't notice.

How does one entire state get away with having no spiders? YEAR ROUND FROST? Do you have head lice?

Hey LoW, you added something to my dream!!!!! I'm trying to figure out what, but I know you changed it somehow!

Ha ha Andrea and T! That's exactly how I felt while I was river dancing and resolving the life out of that creeeeeepy spider.

Ha ha Emily too. I KNOW! ewwwww, imagine taking a bath with both eyes wide open surveying the scene. ewwwwww.

Wixom, ha ha. Sound like a PaRtaY! Where do you live in Ideeho? I'm going to Island Park in July.

So, you are always so supportive. Isn't So so supportive, peeps?

Amen Amanda! AAAAMMMEENNN!

Martha you didn't hear me squealing and screaming and chucking shoes at the ceiling because you were at the tennis match. And don't worry, I'm not really going to build an amusement park in Ideeho. Ideeho's not even a real place.

aniC said...

i don't have a link to your blog on my blog because you keep posting dang eight legged creepy things on your blog. seriously!! i can't take it. i have a heart attack when i come to your blog now. on google reader i popped open your new post, then immediately closed it when i saw the dang picture. and when i came to post a comment, i had to scroll down quickly past the dang picture! that's why i don't have a link.
oh, that, and you no long have a code for your button on here.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh my goodness AniC. That is such a cop out. You know you love a good freak out!

hee hee hee.

But you're right about the code. I need to get that back up.

Then you won't have any excuses excuses excuses!

Natalie said...

Choices... Decisions... Hawaii or Ideeho... Way more complicated than it sounds...

DeNae said...

In my dreams I have long red hair like those old Crissy dolls where you could push a button in their backs and just pull the luscious red ponytail out the top of their heads.

And I'm doing the splits.

Now I know that this means you should move to Idaho. I can't tell you what a relief it is to have that mystery solved!

val of the south said...

DeNae - I loved the Crissy dolls - I always thought it would be so cool to have a pony I could pull out of the top of my head!

Crash, thanks for the blog love - I definitely needed that today!!

I've missed you too!!

nevadanista said...

I'm never going to go visit my cool/hippie/coconut pie baking/medicinal mushroom expert cousin and Maui beef taco making/pothead/bread fruit expert aunt in Hana if you keep posting that sicko creepy kane spider!

April said...

Correct me if I'm wrong...but don't cane spiders have smooth brown legs too, only more?

Mariko said...

I don't like the idea of you moving to Ideeho. Then you might take your daughter with you.
Smooth brown legs is okay with me, if it's okay with your hubby.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Nevada!

I love freaking you guys out.

Ha ha April, that's a great point! Trust you to think of it.

Mariko, I would probably leave my daughter here if I move to Ideeho. And my sons. And my hub.

psych!

Tiffany said...

Idaho vs Hawaii, are you kidding. Even with lovely legs there is still no comparison. Stay where you are and enjoy. Then make fun of all the rest of us who are living in the wrong place.

Sandi said...

They talk weird in Ideeho. Of course they talk weird in Hawaii too. Just back from my lovely girls weekend and am trying to catch up on my blog surfing--- too much to read! Thanks for the FB comments....YES that is my husband and YES he looks 16. It sucks.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, my dad looked 16 too and my mom HATED it.

But you look young too so no worries.

Tiff, great idea. I can do that. I like poking you guys in the eye.

Jami said...

Yeah, the spider is freakish. I never want to live in a tropical climate. I hate heat. I burn. I had massive insects and creatures with seem to thrive there.

All of the shed and attic black widows are about to hatch here though. Them's mean ones: horrifyingly ugly/gorgeous and evil and poisonous. So Nor Cal is out for a spider-free environment for you. Sorry.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Jami Jami Jami, I have missed you. I am so glad to see you, even though you freaked me out about No. Cal.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Every time I visit Idaho, I want to stay. The green is so green and the blue so blue. Of course, that's pretty much true in hawaii, too. My sister's husband teaches at BYU Idaho so I have a place to stay when I visit. That's very helpful.