1. Punch my daughter's teacher in the nose?
Not her Hoity Toity English teacher, but her hoity toity Social Studies teacher. If Kahuku High School had tennis courts I would arrange a duel after school behind the courts and I would channel my eagle powers and do some Kung Fu Panda on her, and maybe a Karate Kid kick or two.
Wax on! Wax Off!
2. Lift Miss Heidi on my shoulders and parade her around Borders singing We Are the Champions until I'm blue in the face. (But wait, it was HER book that just SOLD OUT OF PRINT, so I should sing YOU Are the Champion until I'm green in the face.) Does anyone want to help me carry her?
3. Get a shaka tattoo and join a rock band.
4. Buy every one of you a royal blue snuggi so we can crash Kristina P's Playboy photo shoot and yell, "Oh, GAD! Oh GLORY! Honest to PETE!"
5. Borrow an article of clothing from every person on the planet so I can quilt a patchwork bridge to Terabithia across the universe. I will start building the bridge with the quilt I just received from Kritta. (Mahalo Kritta!) This is the quilt I won from Shelle's Don't You Hate it When . . . contest.
Kritta is it a magic quilt? Does it have healing powers? When I'm healed should I pass it along to someone else who needs to be healed? And then they could pass it on to someone else and so on and so on until the whole world is healed. (But after everyone is healed can you guys send it back to me?)
6. Sleep for 36 hours straight.
7. Buy the whole state of Arizona a swirly cupcake in honor of Kute Kasey's engagement.
Kute Kasey's fiance surrounded by swirly cupcakes.
8. Kidnap April from her quarantine, and take her out for a Peenya Kowlada Jamba Juice (IN TAMPA BAY)! Then force her at gunpoint to wear yellow and sit in the Steelers section at the Superbowl.
9. Let Anjeny sit shot gun on our Blog-Across-America so we can play Crash Test Dummys with the airbags and throw peanut M&M's out the window at biker dudes.
Anjeny earned a special place in my tie-dyed heart when she nominated me for 3 blogger's choice awards incognito as Emerida--my favorite being, Best Blog of All Times. Oh you silly silly goose, Anjeny, putting me up against Pioneer Woman, but that touched me, girl. Especially since my followers are dropping like flies.
As Charles Dickens would say: "It was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs."
But if I go to the top, YOU ALL go to the top. Submarine POWER!! Crash & Friends 4 ever, baby! Healing the world ONE quilt at a time!